*
*
Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime.
A.
A.
Part 4
It was the middle of the night, the sky was achingly black and only the very brightest stars pierced its thick clouds. Ymmot sat in the interrogation booth with the finely dressed stranger. The droid Python stood outside, back turned against the door. Python was the tallest droid and had a wirey, athletic frame. An array of powerful lights joined the temples of his head, defining Python as the night-watch of the village, yet they were currently switched off. A motif of a black snake gleamed on Python's right chest plate.
Ymmot shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
"I'm not here to rescue you." He said, "But if you want any help at all then I need to know as much about you as possible. I want to know where you came from and why you came to JV. The droid outside can't hear us, he's been almost deaf since the revolution. Feel free to tell me everything, I won't use any of it against you." The stranger rubbed his eyes with his forefingers and looked up to reply.
"I see I'm not going anywhere fast, I might as well tell you. I come from across the sea. I came here to retrieve Midir, he broke away from us to come back to your village. You don't need to know why we want him back, but we're not actually that desperate for him. I just took the opportunity while I was nearby to try and find him." His tone of voice was of somebody very tired, as if he had grown weary of his situation and lost any interest in explaining himself.
Ymmot smiled to himself. "You say he came BACK to our village? That can't be true, nobody really leaves the village. Some people claim to, but the droids find them wondering around in the desert lost out of their wits. Any others have been found dead-" Ymmot suddenly broke his flow of speech, "Or so the droids say.., they've never actually returned any bodies!" His eyes darted back and forth as he thought. The stranger continued speaking calmly.
"We never died, we went through the badlands and across the sea. Like I said before, it's safe there. Look, just let me free."
Ymmot shouted under his breath, ignoring the stranger's plea, "I KNEW they were lying to us, they couldn't bare to admit they found no bodies. Lying is all they're capable of! First chance I get I'm going go grab that Asilva and-"
A sudden rapping on the door's window caused Ymmot to jump. The droid Python stared absently into the room.
"You've been in there long enough Ymmot." He said.
Ymmot threw back his chair and grabbed a coat off the floor then made his way to the exit, turning back briefly. "Wait, if you came from JV, what's your name?"
The stranger sighed.
"I'm Elm."
Python followed Ymmot out of the dungeons. As Ymmot scampered away the droid switched on his lights, they illuminated a large plume of the darkness before him. He began his patrol of the village, a duty he had performed countless times across the years. His routine never differed, given there was no distraction. He first walked into the village's main square which was thickly surrounded by the main buildings of the village. In front of him stood the Discussion Halls, a large stone building with tall peaked windows. Its main doors had been buckled with chains and a wooden notice hung over them: "Discussion of police actions is prohibited". Python's head rotated like an Owl's as he surveyed the area. There were other similarly styled buildings including a great Library adorned with cobwebs. As well as all these things were the Welcoming Gates. They were barred with huge planks of cast iron. A gathering of gravestones rested against it, each one inscribed with the name of somebody lost. There was also the Art Orchard, a more secretive area cemented between the gaping spaces between the grand buildings. Python watched as a woman crept out of it.
The droid slumped down onto his belly and switched off his lights, becoming completely invisible in the inky blackness of the night. He slowly crept into the Orchard, slithering over the rough ground like a snake. As he crawled various canvases and papers became trampled beneath him. Eventually he came to a small round bench, and Python switched his lights back on. The bench was thrown naked in the startling light, but there was an abnormality! A roll of paper fluttered in the gentle breeze, tied loosely with cord to the arm of the bench. He unfurled it: "Dut, I want in. Tell me where." Python carefully rolled the paper up again and tucked it back into the loop of cord. He slithered away.
*****
The noise of banter rattled around the candle-lit walls of JVKlub.
"He claims to be Elm!" Said Ymmot, "Seriously though, he can't be. I mean I can't remember what Elm was like - it's possible."
PooZy nodded in response. "The possibility that the droids lied to us is almost proof in itself, and who's the guy he wanted?"
"Midir" Said Ymmot. "He didn't seem that keen on finding him though, he just wants to be let free."
"He's probably mistaken, there's no Midir here." Clips injected into the conversation, "I say let him go home."
PooZy shook his head. "Jo is right about Ymmot staying on the good side of the Droids, letting a prisoner go would ruin that. We should try and find out as much about him as possible while we can."
Ramm broke into the discussion too, "Elm used to be the Village's engineer, yes? I should talk to him, he might have technologies that I haven't thought of which could help us."
"As if the droids would let you anywhere near the Dungeon!" Replied Ymmot. He narrowed his eyes in Ramm's direction.
PooZy quickly changed the subject, "Joman tells me Anthony is due back soon. When he does we can amount a full attack on Sparks headquarters. Cal and Yak will be joining me on that mission, I want as little other people to come with me as possible. We don't want to pin suspicion on everybody at JVKlub. Ramm, have you finished the maintenance on the Pickle grade weapons?"
Ramm reached under the table and presented PooZy with a small bolt-action rifle. The rifle was compact and had grooves cut into the side of it like the gills of a shark. The top of the weapon was flat save for a ridge of jagged spines that acted as a sight. Its black surface had an unusual sheen to it. PooZy leveled the bolt and mimed aiming the weapon.
"Yes, this ought to do it."
Last edited by PooZy; 12th July 2012 at 01:47 PM.
You found an easter egg! Code: 👆👆👆👆
Understandable, the virus freaked a lot of us out. Also, I hope you had a nice time at your grandparentsOriginally Posted by PooZy
Yay! Something to look forward to!
┏━━━┓╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋┏┓
┃┏━┓┃╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋┃┃
┃┗━━┳┓┏┳━━┳━━┳━┫┗━┓
┗━━┓┃┃┃┃┏┓┃┃━┫┏┫┏┓┃
┃┗━┛┃┗┛┃┗┛┃┃━┫┃┃┗┛┃
┗━━━┻━━┫┏━┻━━┻┛┗━━┛
╋╋╋╋╋╋╋┃┃
╋╋╋╋╋╋╋┗┛
bump the part 4 has been up for a while now
Part 4 is great.
Anyway, all of your mistakes were just commas, and all I want to post is this one:
There should be a comma there.
Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime.
A.
A.
This story is pure awesomeness
Part 5
Anthony dived from wall to wall. The city of Sparks had now become quite busy, the wide streets were lined with people dashing back and forth. The walls of the city's central warehouse loomed overhead, within a stones throw now, its spires fading to nothingness against the thick, foggy air. He darted across the road and into the shadow of the warehouse, then strolled up to an intercom system at the front door. The door was electronic and made from glass allowing Anthony to see into the belly of the building. Inside was relatively clear and only a few business men were milling around.
"Sparks central bureau, please scan your palm to gain entrance." The shrill sound of the intercom roused Anthony. He smashed his fist into the palm-pad, breaking through into the nest of wires inside. This seemed to be awarded with cheers from passers by.
"Palm accepted."
Anthony pushed through the electronic door and ran through the landing, pushing people aside as he did so. "At least Ramm was right about the palm pad" he thought as he ran. "I wonder how long it will take them to get in now..." The building was white inside, at least on the lower levels. Anthony could only imaging the splendor lavished on the apartments above where the Sparks Officials lived. Although the walls were white they were not blinding, rather they looked incredibly dull and poorly lit. Other than the glass door there were no windows and the interior was lit by blue tinted overhead lamps. The rooms were bare apart from rows of uninviting desks, only a smattering of which were occupied.
A small number of police who were at the scene began lining up at the door to the warehouse. One stuck his hand onto the broken palm pad before being sent reeling with a blue flash. Anthony spared them no more thought and began descending the nearest stairwell he came across. As he worked his way deeper and deeper the clamor on the ground floor died to a gentle hum. It seemed the lower levels of the building were virtually abandoned despite the large volume of people who lived in Sparks. Finding a hidden space underneath the last level of the stairs, Anthony squirmed inside and brought forth the orange device Ramm had given him. Now that he was still he could feel his heart pounding inside his chest, it made him feel sick, but he was nearly out of danger now. He flicked a switch on the device and it begun to whir quietly, becoming hot in his hand, and then it stopped. "Is that it?" he thought, "Has it worked?" Then suddenly a screen flicked out the side of the device with a small 'click'. Anthony looked at it to see a sketchy computerized cross section of the warehouse. A green dot symbolized his current location and Anthony searched the sketch to find the nearest exit. He was in luck, a doorway that led out to the dockyards seemed to be only fifty yards ahead of him on the level above. He shuffled out of his hiding hole and rushed up the stairs again, then around and through a doorway on his left. The ceiling above him echoed and creaked from the heavy footsteps of the police above, this spurred Anthony onward and he finally came to a larger room in the warehouse. It was kitted out with large metal frameworks and trailing wires, obviously some kind or repair room. A few hefty looking trucks and drilling machines rested in the room, each attended to by its own personnel swarm of engineers. Anthony walked past them and out of the huge opening to the room which led onto a road. Luckily he was not noticed, so casually had he passed.
Anthony hurried off the road and into the dockyards ahead of him. They sloped down as they met the sea, giving Anthony a long-running wall to conceal himself as he traveled out of the city. Then Anthony stopped awhile to think. "Why are there docks? There's nothing across the sea..."
*****
Dutany sneaked stealthily into the Art orchard, a stack of papers beneath one arm. He perched on the old bench, his usual meeting place, and waited for the newspaper salesman to arrive. But what was this! A thin roll of paper caught his eye on the wing of the bench. He looked side to side, the coast was clear, so he picked up and unrolled the sheet. "Dut, I want in. Tell me where." Dutany creased his brow, what an unusual development this had turned out to be... He hurriedly searched for a pencil and turned the scrap of paper over. He wrote on the other side, "Under a metal sheet, follow the gangway opposite Jiggmin's house." He tucked the paper back into it's old loop.
"Aye what's that?" The salesman appeared at the entrance of the Orchard.
"Oh erm, I've got the new Paper here for you." Dutany shifted himself to cover the roll of paper and offered his notes to the salesman.
"Ah good work lad!" He replied, "You keep these comin' mind, they're fetching a fine packet at the moment." The salesman tossed a tidy bag of coins into Dutany's lap. "That's just from yesterdays!"
It's a trap!
I think ima give a rest before I finish this. I'll probably do up to part 10 and then end it
Assuming we know what everyone looks like already, there is hardly any character description. My perception of the characters are being constantly shifted from there JV avatars, JV personas, and a rough sketch of their real appearance. I still see PooZy as a pickle too, so if that's what you're going for, you should make it clear as to not make my mind implode on itself from indecisiveness. Also some more background info would be nice if it was thrown in there. At least for the main characters. They are pretty bland and currently have little personality.
Mftopia, land of dreams. <3
its like a movie in your head
♈♉♊♓♌♍♎♏♐♒♋ȵNo one can read your mind
I need more story
i want to be in story D:
Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth
Part 6
Jennifer crumpled and re-crumpled the scrap of paper in her hands as she walked. She looked behind her, and again, strangely sure she could hear somebody following her. She straightened her back and raised her head, there was no reason to fear. It wasn't as if she was doing anything wrong, just walking through the street, why should anybody be following her? She relaxed and passed out of the street into the small opening in front of Jiggmin's house. Stark shadows of moving bodies played on the closed curtains of the house's windows. Jennifer gazed at it and turned into a narrow walkway opposite the house. Having only walked a short way she stumbled upon the metal sheet that covered the entrance to JVKlub. With feverish excitement she hauled the cover across and climbed down inside, tumbling down the spiraling staircase within.
"HELLO!" She yelled as she broke into the candle light of the inner sanctum. A smattering of pale, Shocked faces turned to greet her.
"Flipping heck!" Exclaimed Poozy. "Try to enter more quietly next time."
Dutany nodded in Jennifer's direction from behind Ramm, Joman and Anthony. Recovering from their scare they settled back into their huddled discussion. Jennifer ran up to them, bursting with questions and not too bothered about interrupting their talk. Dutany spoke to her before she had a chance.
"I thought it would be you, I can recognize your hand writing. I guess that's what comes with being a writer."
Jennifer exploded into a reply, "Woah, you did? That's almost a super power! I have so many questions for you..."
Dutany held up a hand, "No, me first, if that's alright. Do you represent a larger body of people or have you come alone? It's important."
Jennifer shrugged, "Don't worry I came alone, I'm not stupid!"
"Shame", Poozy let himself into the conversation. "We were hoping we'd score a few more people. Doesn't matter, Yak and Cal are worth three men each anyway."
"Yak and Cal too?" Jennifer's head whirled, everybody was in on this, and finally so was she!
"Oh yes I suppose I should fill you in" Replied Poozy, "We have Ymmot, Joman, Ramm, Prism, Anthony, Yak, Cal, Dutany, myself ... you now I suppose, wait where has Black gotten to?" Poozy squinted into the dark corners of the room, staining to pick out the shape of Black. "He's usually in here... but he's on our side too."
"Ohhhh" Replied Jennifer, "So that craziness is all just an act?"
Dutany and Poozy shared an ironic glance.
"Hey Poozy we're done over here!" Joman called from across the room and tossed the orange device to Poozy. The screen flickered on and the map it now displayed had been cleared and tidied from the messy rough sketch it had been when Anthony first created it. Poozy fiddled with some buttons on the device, scrolling round the device's map. Various sections had been labeled and annotated whilst others were colour-coded.
"I'll run this over to Yak." Said Poozy, "He can draw out some routes and stuff, also Ramm get the rest of the weaponry ready by the door there!" Poozy beckoned Ramm, who in return tottered to a hidden draw in the wall and withdrew a collection of fire-arms and other more mysteriously yet just as wickedly shaped objects. He dumped them against the stairs of the chamber. Jennifer eyeballed the evil-looking pile.
"Wow... what are all those for?" She bent down to touch them. Poozy smiled faintly as he looked upon the weapons.
"What you're touching now, that's an authentic Pickle shriek rifle. Back on my planet these were the standard issue weapons for Pickle soldiers. It won't put many rounds down range, but the ones it does will be precisely on target and can puncture five inch thick steel armor. If you hit somebody... well, they just sort of disappear in a puff of pink smoke."
Jennifer turned the rifle over in her hands. "Pink smoke? Ha, that's funny."
"The pink smoke is blood vapor." With this reply Jennifer stopped smiling and dropped the gun to the floor.
"I was happier with pink smoke somehow." She said. Poozy smiled and picked the rifle up again. With a confused frown he flicked a switch on its side.
"Yea you must've switched the safety off, that could've fired when you dropped it." Jennifer's face went white.
*****
Black kicked his feet about a little too enthusiastically. He sat in the Jiggmin's Village bar, a mostly deserted old-fashioned and homely abode. Its ceiling was lined with wooden beams and painted a warm white, as were the walls.
Black sat at a metal stool at a broad table in the corner of the room, pestering the olive that bobbed about in the green cocktail he had ordered. With one finger he raised the olive by the cocktail stick it was skewered on, and with another finger he flicked it hard. The little green body soared across the room and landed with a happy splosh in Webbz's wine glass, splashing her surprised face with specks of red. Webbz stared back at Black, who in turn grinned cheerily. For a brief second Webbz turned back to her wine glass, ready to sink back into depression, then she looked up as if struck by a sudden idea. She quickly looked around the room, it was empty, and then hurried over to where Blacks sat.
"Want a seat?" Asked Black.
"Yes, yes thanks." Webbz replied. Black lifted a chair out from under the table and tossed it to Webbz, she failed to catch it and it clattered noisily on the wooden floor at her feet. She forced a quiet laugh, and righted the chair before sitting down. "Look... urm... I have a job for somebody like you, I mean you might not want to do it, actually could you say whether you will do it before I tell you? No of course not that would be silly.. uh, unless you're OK with that?" Webbz waited for a response. Black simply smiled and stuck his fingers into his cocktail. Webbz faltered slightly, "It's not as if you have anything to do, I'll give you enough coins to buy ten cocktails, if that's what you want, I mean you must like cocktails if you..." Webbz lost her place as Black lifted the cocktail glass to his nose and inhaled a gulp of alcohol with a sharp snort. His eyes watered and he broke into a fit of coughing.
"I'll do your job." He replied between coughs, "but only if you breath some drink with me." He smiled cheekily back at Webbz. Webbz looked about awkwardly, eyes wild and red specks of wine still clinging to her face, and brushed her hair to one side.
"Deal" She said. She grabbed Black's class and poured a significant portion down her nostrils, sending her into a bout of sneezing. Black looked at her with mild astonishment, never had somebody actually agreed to one of his deals before... for the first time in living memory he wasn't quite sure how he should react. Webbz planted her hands on the table and concentrated hard on suppressing the itching that burned inside her nose so that she could continue talking.
"OK so this job I told you about, um.. it's very simple really. You shouldn't find it too difficult... Just put this on Jiggmin's food! That's all. It's... um, a secret recipe I made. I'm planning on being a cook. Just remember you can't tell anybody It was from me, OK?" Blackout nodded, "If it doesn't taste good I don't want people to know... that's why." Webbz passed a glass phile across the table, which Blackout snatched and tucked into his belt. "Thanks.. you have no idea what a load off my chest this is.."
edit: Zillian kindly made an audio version of the pilot, with coughing!
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0WUR2LMbNax
Last edited by PooZy; 19th July 2012 at 08:06 AM.
I applaud you PooZy, this is definitely a work of art. Keep at it
Reply With Quote
