Child Discipline

[Suuper]

I think it's OK to some degree, but it's easy to overdo it. There are cases when it is the best way, but this isn't always the case.
It also depends on the child, different people will see things differently.

When punishing a child, you shouldn't be thinking just "Will this keep him/her from doing it again?" but also about the other effects it will have. Even if you successfully teach your child not to do whatever it is you were punishing for, the net result can easily be bad. What will the child think of you, now and later? How will it affect the child's views? How will it affects the child's personality? It's a complicated issue, and both physical and non-physical punishments can have unintended side-effects.

Personally, I have experience with both kinds of punishment, as well as with both too harsh punishments and too un-harsh punishments. Usually when I consider some punishment to be undeserved or to severe it only makes me dislike my parent (the one that is punishing me) and be careful not to get caught. Sometimes I may feel like doing it in secret just to go against the rule I think is stupid.
I'm fine with light physical punishments, but these need to be given ASAP or have little good effects. When it's severe, however, non-physical punishments have the best effect one me.

Either way you go, however, you must make it clear to the child exactly what he/she did wrong and why it's wrong. (At least for me. I'm not sure if this goes for other people, but if I don't see why it's wrong I'm not going to stop doing it. In fact, I regularly, quite regularly, break non-sense rules.)

EDIT: Also, (especially) non-physical punishments require thinking in order to be done properly. If you don't spend time with it, and just give out random punishments, you're doing it wrong. The results will be bad 99% of the time in this case.

[Rammjet]

Umm, isn't that a little personal for ASilva? Do you really think that he wants all of that out on JV?

He posted all that information previously, not me.

Anyway, @ nik, you say that children sometimes deserve to be hurt, I agree from only a naturalistic viewpoint that you deserve to be hurt if you fall over or bit yourself etc or jump off a swing and get a graze.

[Whitepro]

When I was a kid my parents always beat me up and they still do

[DD667]

What are your thoughts on this controversial topic? Are you for or against the old form of child discipline (belting, slapping, things like that)? Are you against any physical discipline for children? Discuss your opinions here.

And no, this is a thread about child discipline, not abuse.

I am against it. It affects how they grow up and it proves that they're not good parents because they're resorting to violence in order
for an punishment. The duration of the crimes in England are because of corporal punishment. Yep, parents in England still do it now.
I wish I lived somewhere else.......

[Rammjet]

In addition I'm going to comment that starving a child as a punishment is also inadaquate. Denying them sweets or treats is fine, but deliberately wanting a growing body to feel in pain is unfair and crooked in my view.

[~Twisted]

/Shitstorm.


Anyways, beating your child only proves that you can't raise it properly.

[Suuper]

In addition I'm going to comment that starving a child as a punishment is also inadaquate. Denying them sweets or treats is fine, but deliberately wanting a growing body to feel in pain is unfair and crooked in my view.

What do you say to making a child go to bed before dinner?

[Rammjet]

What do you say to making a child go to bed before dinner?

That it wrongly takes advantage of their dependance on the parent, and that a growing body needs regular food. I read recently that love only exists when two people are aware they aren't dependant on each other, the love between a parent and child who get a long because they want to please eachother, rather than for fear of hunger is worth more.

[Suuper]

That it wrongly takes advantage of their dependance on the parent, and that a growing body needs regular food. I read recently that love only exists when two people are aware they aren't dependant on each other, the love between a parent and child who get a long because they want to please eachother, rather than for fear of hunger is worth more.

A child does not need every single dinner it gets, skipping it once would do little harm. I'm willing to bet many other punishments, including depriving them of sweets, seems more harsh to them and they may feel more like they need those things.

[Viagra Perfectionist]

>today I'm gonna read about child discipline!
>vote
>TWENTY FIVE VOTES FOR NO

OH MY GOD
THE WORLD IS GOING TO SHIT OF COURSE YOU SHOULD PHYSICALLY PUNISH A CHILD
I got spanked until I was about ten, and then I was grounded. For ten years I was mentally stable.

[chris0]

I would disagree, your parents are divorced, they forced your left handed brother to become right handed for whacky religious reasons, you knocked 4 of your brother's teeth out, you've grown up to want to own a gun, etcetera.

You all sound very violent and aggressive.

And in case nobody's figured it out yet, I think that beating children will eventually be looked on in the same light as beating wives- an archaic conservative, abusive nonsense.

Yeah, I was thinking "Uh, you didn't exactly turn out fine..." as well.

~chris0

[Cirmentia]

>today I'm gonna read about child discipline!
>vote
>TWENTY FIVE VOTES FOR NO

OH MY GOD
THE WORLD IS GOING TO SHIT OF COURSE YOU SHOULD PHYSICALLY PUNISH A CHILD
I got spanked until I was about ten, and then I was grounded. For ten years I was mentally stable.

I'm sure statistics would clearly show that far more children turned out mentally unstable (Or abnormal) that were physically abused, than children who were not.

[Suuper]

I'm sure statistics would clearly show that far more children turned out mentally unstable (Or abnormal) that were physically abused, than children who were not.

There's a difference between abuse and punishment. Note he didn't say abuse.

[Cirmentia]

There's a difference between abuse and punishment. Note he didn't say abuse.

I meant to say punishment, not abuse.

[Suuper]

I meant to say punishment, not abuse.

punished*.

Anyway, I doubt it would be that significant without harsh punishments.

Also, for people claiming they are "mentally stable" or "turned out OK", do you think their claims are reliable? How many mentally unstable people would know they are mentally unstable? (I really have no idea here.)

[ASilva93]

I would disagree, your parents are divorced, they forced your left handed brother to become right handed for whacky religious reasons, you knocked 4 of your brother's teeth out, you've grown up to want to own a gun, etcetera.

You all sound very violent and aggressive.



And in case nobody's figured it out yet, I think that beating children will eventually be looked on in the same light as beating wives- an archaic conservative, abusive nonsense.

" your parents are divorced" Nearly 50% of first marriages end in divorce
" they forced your left handed brother to become right handed for whacky religious reasons" Christianity is the most popular religion in the world and the bible is that which goes against being left-handed
" you knocked 4 of your brother's teeth out" Which was unintentional. I was attempting an assisted backflip when that happened. Surely, if I did it on purpose I would have been arrested.
"you've grown up to want to own a gun" I actually own a couple of fire arms. A .22 caliber rifle and a 12 gauge shotgun. You treat owning a gun like it's a bad thing. Go ahead and list all the statistics against it and I will still reply with A) firearms saved my handicapped uncle from being beaten with a hammer and B) nothing bad has ever happened in 3 generations of my family owning firearms, which I attribute to proper firearm safety being taught nearly from birth.

More than 60% of the kids in my English Language and Composition class anonymously claimed to have been beaten as children, and surely all of them can't be as horrible of beings as you make my family and I out to be.

[Suuper]

" your parents are divorced" Nearly 50% of first marriages end in divorce
" they forced your left handed brother to become right handed for whacky religious reasons" Christianity is the most popular religion in the world and the bible is that which goes against being left-handed
" you knocked 4 of your brother's teeth out" Which was unintentional. I was attempting an assisted backflip when that happened. Surely, if I did it on purpose I would have been arrested.
"you've grown up to want to own a gun" I actually own a couple of fire arms. A .22 caliber rifle and a 12 gauge shotgun. You treat owning a gun like it's a bad thing. Go ahead and list all the statistics against it and I will still reply with A) firearms saved my handicapped uncle from being beaten with a hammer and B) nothing bad has ever happened in 3 generations of my family owning firearms, which I attribute to proper firearm safety being taught nearly from birth.

More than 60% of the kids in my English Language and Composition class anonymously claimed to have been beaten as children, and surely all of them can't be as horrible of beings as you make my family and I out to be.

Something happening 50% of the time does not make it any less worse. It's still not a good thing.
I have seriously never heard anything about Christianity being against left-handed people, and I was raised as a Christian. I myself am left-handed, too. I've actually heard that Jesus was most likely left-handed, because the written language he used went from right to left. (Idk if this is true, just heard someone say it once.)

[ASilva93]

Something happening 50% of the time does not make it any less worse. It's still not a good thing.
I have seriously never heard anything about Christianity being against left-handed people, and I was raised as a Christian. I myself am left-handed, too. I've actually heard that Jesus was most likely left-handed, because the written language he used went from right to left. (Idk if this is true, just heard someone say it once.)

Two things the bible notoriously is against is being gay and being left handed.

"And now if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me: and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left."
Genesis 24:49

"And Israel stretched out his right hand, and laid it upon Ephraim's head, who was the younger, and his left hand upon Manasseh's head, guiding his hands wittingly; for Manasseh was the firstborn. 17And when Joseph saw that his father laid his right hand upon the head of Ephraim, it displeased him: and he held up his father's hand, to remove it from Ephraim's head unto Manasseh's head. 18And Joseph said unto his father, Not so,my father: for this is the firstborn; put thy right hand upon his head."
Genesis 48:14

A wise man's heart is at his right hand; but a fool's heart at his left."
Ecclesiastes 10:2

Then the people of Israel cried out to the Lord, and the Lord raised up for them a deliverer, Ehud, the son of Gera, the Benjaminite, a left-handed man. The people of Israel sent tribute by him to Eglon the king of Moab.

Judges 3:15

[Suuper]

Two things the bible notoriously is against is being gay and being left handed.

"And now if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me: and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left."
Genesis 24:49

"And Israel stretched out his right hand, and laid it upon Ephraim's head, who was the younger, and his left hand upon Manasseh's head, guiding his hands wittingly; for Manasseh was the firstborn. 17And when Joseph saw that his father laid his right hand upon the head of Ephraim, it displeased him: and he held up his father's hand, to remove it from Ephraim's head unto Manasseh's head. 18And Joseph said unto his father, Not so,my father: for this is the firstborn; put thy right hand upon his head."
Genesis 48:14

A wise man's heart is at his right hand; but a fool's heart at his left."
Ecclesiastes 10:2

Then the people of Israel cried out to the Lord, and the Lord raised up for them a deliverer, Ehud, the son of Gera, the Benjaminite, a left-handed man. The people of Israel sent tribute by him to Eglon the king of Moab.

Judges 3:15

I'm confused because I really don't see how those passages are at all against being left-handed.
There's no doubt the right hand has special meaning that the left doesn't have, but I fail to see where in any of those passages it implies writing with your left hand is any worse than writing with your right hand.
(Sorry if I'm missing the obvious...)

[Cirmentia]

Something happening 50% of the time does not make it any less worse. It's still not a good thing.
I have seriously never heard anything about Christianity being against left-handed people, and I was raised as a Christian. I myself am left-handed, too. I've actually heard that Jesus was most likely left-handed, because the written language he used went from right to left. (Idk if this is true, just heard someone say it once.)

It was normal for people in the time of Jesus to be put to rest with their dominant hand on top, and Jesus was in fact, laid to rest with his left hand on-top of his right. There's no way to be absolutely 100% certain, but I'd say that's evidence enough.

Not that I have religious beliefs. I'm an atheist.