Child Discipline

[Tiger]

When I was younger, sometimes my parents would hit me, but not all the time. They don't anymore. I wouldn't do it, honestly, to my children. I would do something to punish them, maybe take away a game or something, but not cause physical pain to them.

[aaaaaa123456789]

Punishment should be sufficient to deter the child from repeating the wrongful action, but nothing beyond that.
The truth is, physical punishment, whilst it mostly has legitimate intentions, it goes most of the time much further than it should.

There's some occasions in which it's justified -- but the truth is, if you do it every month or so, you're doing something wrong.
If what you do leaves marks, you're doing something very wrong.

If what you do has any permanent effect, physical or not (other than teaching), you're definitely doing something very, very wrong.

[Desteroy]

When u hit your child, your child will hate u so much, than he will has different impression on u

[Danġevin]

I think child discipline is okay up until it gets to the point where it causes severe physical and emotional damage.

Like for instance, disciplining them for actions they shouldn't do is alright, like maybe slapping them on the hand, but beating them often would only cause harm to a child, not help them from doing the wrong actions.

In fact, beating them often would only make things worse for the child and the family

[Rammjet]

And yet my parents and I still turned out okay.

I would disagree, your parents are divorced, they forced your left handed brother to become right handed for whacky religious reasons, you knocked 4 of your brother's teeth out, you've grown up to want to own a gun, etcetera.

You all sound very violent and aggressive.



And in case nobody's figured it out yet, I think that beating children will eventually be looked on in the same light as beating wives- an archaic conservative, abusive nonsense.

[FinalCheetah]

I think taking away their toys/computer for a period of time is way more effective than random violence. When my dad took away my Sega Mega Drive, I learnt quickly.

A big problem with physical violence is parents can abuse it and the child would not know any better. They will grow up with the same thuggish behaviour.

[PooZy]

And yet my parents and I still turned out okay.

pffft, as if

[-Shadowfax-]

For, but not by hitting or hurting the children, but just like to tell them to take 10 pushups or run around the school 3 times or something.

[34attack]

I would disagree, your parents are divorced, they forced your left handed brother to become right handed for whacky religious reasons, you knocked 4 of your brother's teeth out, you've grown up to want to own a gun, etcetera.

Really? These really happened to him? I can't say anything.

For, but not by hitting or hurting the children, but just like to tell them to take 10 pushups or run around the school 3 times or something.

What if you can't do push-ups?

[Miasma]

... I have experience with this...
My mom always argues with me that physical discipline is needed. I grew up with this type of discipline. When I was little, I admit, I was spanked time and time again. As I grew older, around a toddler's age to a child, my dad would hit me and choke me, and throw me around the house. Then I grew older, around the age of ten. My mom would slap me across the face and pin me to walls. Just recently, when I was 12, nearly 13, I finally decided to get into a fight with my mom, for a reason I will leave unsaid. All my life I have been a pacifist, because I knew all of this violence was wrong. But that day... I snapped.
She was the first to come at me. Out of pure instinct, knowing she was going to grab me by the arm and yank me off the chair I was sitting on, I slapped her hand away. She twisted me around and wrapped her arms around me, but I twisted back the other way and elbowed her in the back. However, I would have to say that took a lot of courage for me to do that.
I started to run, because I didn't want to be a part of it anymore, but she grabbed me, and bent my back over a low wall that separated the kitchen and the living room by holding my neck and choking me. It makes me cry just thinking about my own life.
Physical discipline not only hurts a child, but it doesn't give them a clear idea as to what they're doing wrong, it only worsens their relationship with their parents, it forces them to go about things in life blindly... And it scars them for eternity. To say that I'm against this kind of discipline would be an understatement. I do more than just abhor it.
I feel it every second of my life.

[Vav]

I'm strongly against physical punishment.
There are so many other ways to punish your child without it involving violence.
Sure, it can teach discipline, but how do you know when your going too far with it? That's what really matters. To me, it also doesn't make a difference whether the kid is 5 years old or 12 years old. It's still wrong either way and it can really cause children to form a really bad relationship with their parents, right from the start and at a very young age too. Give them a "time-out" or something. Find others way of punishment, without using violence.

[VforVendetta]

I bet that some people would feel like a little infraction or even a warning on JV is "child discipline." xD
That's what came to mind when I read this thread, for some reason.

[Jerevand]

Well, I think it depends on the situation. If it's severe enough, yeah, but don't be TOO harsh.

[Cirmentia]

I'm strongly against physical punishment.
There are so many other ways to punish your child without it involving violence.
Sure, it can teach discipline, but how do you know when your going too far with it? That's what really matters. To me, it also doesn't make a difference whether the kid is 5 years old or 12 years old. It's still wrong either way and it can really cause children to form a really bad relationship with their parents, right from the start and at a very young age too. Give them a "time-out" or something. Find others way of punishment, without using violence.

Does saying something like "Do 20 push-ups" fall under the category of "physical punishment" in your book? I know a fathers who do it that way, but they're goofy and really funny, so it's not as aggressive and mean as you might think.

[X-Ray]

honestly, why the **** would you even beat your child? to instill fear so your children know you're the boss? to make them cry and ruin their childhood, and possibly their adult lives? i'm the youngest in my family, and the only boy. all 5 of my sisters would get beaten with a different objects. whether it be a ruler or my mom's hand, or something else. i can't really say they turned out "normal"... my oldest sister would pin us to the ground when babysitting us, because she thought it was fun. she has also been to the psycho-ward, if that's what it's called, two times in the past 3 months, and has cut herself a lot. my second oldest sister would do the same, but only if we didn't do what she wanted. she hasn't been to the psycho-ward, though. my third oldest got into many fights in school, 8th grade being her first. she also went to the psycho-ward in the 8th grade, and also cut herself, and im pretty sure my parents said she attempted suicide. same thing goes with my fourth oldest. my sister closest in age to me, nothing is really wrong with her, she liked to be beat. but, she growls when you say anything sexual. and she has to wave her hands in the air in the air when someone burps or farts to get rid of the "particles". i can't say im "normal", but damn, im the closest to it in my family. and before you say anything, my sister's events were not school related. they all had many friends and no reason to be bullied.

[Ridley]

Spanking can be an ok form of punishment, as long as it isn't done with rage or much anger. My dad spanked me every now and then when I was younger, but like the rest of my siblings, I don't suffer from any hate or resentment issues. The problems occure when a parent spanks a child with rage, which may includes vocal abuse. That causes the child to have a budding resentment for his father, and because of that hate the become more defiant of there parents in retaliation. It's pretty simple human behavior, really. When my dad spanks or hits my 4 year old brother, he doesn't try to induce any major pain and he does it out of love, not hate. It is far more effective then "Groundings", though giving those out is usually more effective against teens. Beating is an unacceptable and unfruitful for of punishment, as the parent (Almost always the father) either do it out of un-controllable rage or may take joy in causing pain to their child.

What also takes effect is how you treat your child after a punishment. Do you forgive him and say sorry for having to punish him, or do you treat him poorly throught the rest of the day, or even throughout their childhood? These small things can make a HUGE difference.

[ProClifo]

I'm against beating your child. You just need to seem intimidating. A famous line is "My dad is gonna kill me if he ever finds out about this"

[Red Hackdaw]

I am slightly for it, depending on what the child did and the SEVERITY of it (like someone said before) physical pain could prevent the child from doing it again

[Nikolaj]

No, I do not support it. Beating a child is just a sissy way out for parents who are too lazy to establish themselves as a proper figure for their child - you don't show a child anything useful for punching them because they're not doing what you want them to do at all. You need to appear as a just figure, who won't decide to resort to being a cowardly villain who just happens to be bigger than the child does, but instead establish themselves as a strong and wise leader, who, when the child does something wrong, will determine a right "lesson" for the mishap that doesn't involve a smack.

And no, this isn't because I think beating a child "ruins their psyche" or any of that codswallop. Children aren't just stupid objects that don't know a lot, they're capable of logic, too, and if they realize that they're going to get away with anything because the law says so, then they grow up, already spoiled, as an overgrown wimp. Children deserve to be physically hurt at times, but not by their parents.

Also, those of you who are trying to talk about their childhood to make some sort of point aren't proving anything; It's like commenting under the discussion of "how kids with a high IQ have a higher tendency to do drugs at an older age" how you think it's OH-SO-TRUE BECAUSE IN HIGH SCHOOL YOU DID WEED E'RRYDAY AND YOU HAVE AN IQ OF LIKE 176 HURRRRRRRRR. You're not showing anything, you're not even trying to add to the discussion and general consensus - you're just trying to inflate your ego with a "woe-is-me" attitude that, in the worldly aspect, is truly ridiculous.

[ClassyElephant_]

I would disagree, your parents are divorced, they forced your left handed brother to become right handed for whacky religious reasons, you knocked 4 of your brother's teeth out, you've grown up to want to own a gun, etcetera.

You all sound very violent and aggressive.

Umm, isn't that a little personal for ASilva? Do you really think that he wants all of that out on JV?