Is it bad that I laughed at that?Originally Posted by Atom Heart Mother
Is it bad that I laughed at that?
how long till i get an infraction for this
*ahem*
How do we know what shampoo princess diana used?
because her head and shoulders was found all over the dashboard
prepare for 2nd sickest joke you'll see
highlight, ok?
What's 12 inches long and makes women scream????
A stillbirth.
prepare for sickest joke you'll see
highlight, k?
So a guy is driving along a deserted winding mountain road. He comes across a break in the guardrail and can see smoke rising from below the road. Being the good citizen he is, he stops on the side of the road and rushes down to see what happened.
He finds a badly mangled car and sees a man in the drivers seat, a woman in the passenger's seat and a little boy with a small puppy in his lap in the rear seat, all dead. Horrified, he starts walking back to his car to call the police. But he suddenly hears a whimper from under a bush. He rushes over to the bush and finds an 8 year old blond haired, blue eyed girl. He knees down to the sobbing girl and says, "Little girl, is that your car that crashed?"
"Yes"
"And are those your parents dead in the front seats?"
"Yes"
"And is that your brother dead in the back seat?"
"Yes"
"And is that your puppy dead on your brother's lap?"
"Yes"
The man considers these answers, stands up, looks around, unzips his pants and says, "Well little girl, today is just not your lucky day"
nope
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Dave.
Dave who?
Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
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A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.
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What would George Washington do if he were alive today?
Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.
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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
Getting raped by a giant scorpion.
That last one's my favorite.
A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.
"Long day?" the bartender asks.
"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.
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So this guy walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."
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A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.
A horse went to a bar. Bartender asked the horse "Why the long face?" but horse didn't say anything because horses can't speak.
Roses are red, violets are blue
I've got Alzheimer's
cheese on toast
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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.
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Your mom is so fat that when she dives into a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water than people with less body mass.
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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car
This one is better:
A horse went to a bar. Bartender asked the horse "Why the long face?" The horse replied "My wife is dying of terminal cancer."
An African American, a Mexican and a Puerto Rican are in the car. Who is driving?
I hided the answer. If anyone saw it please don't say it.
Driver.
What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common?
Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.
What is the difference between a black guy and a car?
Black guy can breath.
I know way too many brutal jokes than I should know, and I think they are even too inapproperiate for this thread. (Racism and nazism are included in them, thus I consider the ethical implications there lol.)
Do you know what is in your ass? Your eye
-- DaViD21012 Rank: 45 Hats: 10 --Alternate Accounts: 43, 40, 40, 35, 27, 21, 15
What's worse than a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.
why can't helen keller drive?
she's a woman
did you know helen keller had a treehouse?
neither did she
to punish helen keller, you can either re-arrange the furniture, or put a plunger in the toilet.
What's worse that ten babies nailed to one tree
One baby nailed to ten trees
How do you get a baby to float?
Lift your foot off it's head
♈♉♊♓♌♍♎♏♐♒♋ȵNo one can read your mind
hoooooootI actually have no idea! (Never used a wii friend code before.)
Stick something in, and see what happens.
♈♉♊♓♌♍♎♏♐♒♋ȵNo one can read your mind
One day, a girl with no arms and no legs was sitting on the sidewalk crying. A man noticed her and walked up to her.
"Hey, why are you crying?" he asked.
She replied, "I have never been hugged before." So, he picked her up and hugged her.
She then said, "I have never been kissed before." So, he picked her up and kissed her.
The man began to walk away. The girl was still crying. "What's wrong now?" the man asked.
"Oh, I've never been f***ed before" she replied.
So, the man picked her up and threw her in a lake and yelled "Well, you're f***ed now!"
Oh, I have more of these jokes, don't worry
Halo 5 | Skrill's All-you-need-to-know Guide
SCP-049: “Oh, good doctor, I can assure you, the Pestilence is here, and I can sense it. It is my duty in life to rid the world of it. My cure is most effective.”
How did Helen Keller meet her husband?
On a blind date.
Why does helen keller masturbate with her left hand?
so she can moan with her right hand
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