What comes to mind when you hear about Hell? Wide open planes, the largest resorts on this side of the universe and hot-hot summers alllll year round are just some of the things we have to offer!
At hell you can experience a variety of memorable activities such as:
Archery (you are shot arrows at)
Bowling (you are bowled balls at)
Arts and crafts (you are painted at... in a hurty way)
Swimming (in the great lake of eternal fire)
Sky diving (parachutes not provided unless you can flay your skin into one before you hit the ground)
Petting zoo (you are petted... with clubs)
Doesn't this all sound so exciting? If you're not sure, just wait until you hear what real visitors have said about their stay!
John Morray from Bristol says: "These last 1000 years have gone by so quickly, but I will never forget my time here - mainly because I don't think my anus will ever recover."
Gladice Hampton from New Jersey says: "AUUUUUUUUUAGHR, AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURGRHH."
Are you keen to begin your firey adventure but are concerned that you don't have the cash? No need to despair! Hell is only a sin away. You can earn a ticket to hell by committing just one of the following sins:
Murder - 10,000 years
Cannibalism - 5000 years
Stealing - 1000 years
Thinking about nudey people - 1,000,000 years
Not giving to charity - 500 years
Feeling jealous - 100 years
Telling a lie - 50 years per lie
Sell your soul to the Devil for a season pass!