Random Stuff

Does anybody else know that feeling when you see something or someone from your past, and then think about all the stupid stuff you did, and all the negative influences you had?
I know that feeling. So much. Especially right now for some reason. -facedesk-
I swear, I used to be so awful...
I was a 12 year old jerk who thought that my mental problems gave me the right to treat other people like shit, and I was ignorant enough to allow myself get manipulated by multiple people, and ...

Okay so lately I've been getting really mad for no reason and acting dumb and my vision is all ****ed up. Everything is spinning and I dunno how to make it stop... @_@
I've also been especially depressed, but only at the most random times possible. I'm so confused. D:

I've never been to Disney World, despite living in Orlando. Buuut my sister works there so she's bribing me. I babysit her kids for like two hours and I get to go with her tomorrow, maybe even bring my boyfriend if his parents say yes. <3333
ahhhhhh I feel so awesomeeee

Saying goodbye is really hard... just went through a break up. Even being the one to initiate it, it hurt, because I genuinely care about him... I just can't bring myself to love him anymore.
The worst part is that I don't even know why I can't bring myself to love him anymore. He doesn't deserve this, but I can't help it.
*sigh*
What am I supposed to do now?

dont wanna bore you with details, but i got sick on a trip to a place i really wanted to go, ended up on the verge of vomiting on the car ride home, cried a bit, went to sleep, been a raging b**** ever since

and it doesnt help that im tired right now too but I cant sleep, cant take sleeping pills, no foods or drinks that help me sleep, what do i do man